The 5% Rule

Lately, I have read a lot of free books from Amazon.com. As an avid reader, these freebies give me a way to satiate my reading thirst. I can download a couple of books and read at my own leisure. However, like many free things in life, they can be hits or misses. Once in a while, I would find a former best-selling e-book that is placed for free as a part of a promotion. These are great books and I always want to thank the authors for being so generous. This is a good way to make people hooked into new series and a free book can lead to a life-long follower. I know this tactic works on me as I have become a follower of a couple of series.

However, and this is the biggest however of the freebie world, most books out there are not that well-written. Despite the beautiful covers and great synopses, I could not read past a certain page. Lately, I have come to notice that this phenomenon has a number attached to it: 5 percent. If I can’t bring myself to read past the first 5 percentage of the book, chances are I am not going to finish it at all.

And believe me, I am not the only one. Agents and editors use the same tactic as well. Some of them even tell you not to bother printing out the first 3 chapters. The first page of your future mega best-selling novel is enough for them to judge. For a while, this was enough for me to have an outrage. “How can you judge my whole work by just one page?” I asked. “I have the whole novel here and it is really interesting. You should read page a hundred and thirty five. See? Interesting!”

But now, I understand. If I let my audience wait until page a hundred and thirty five to make my novel interesting, I would rather call myself a moron. In this day and age, readers want instant gratifications. Your novel has to hook them by the first page and pull them into it. I know it is a tall order and I know there are authors out there who just rewrite, rewrite, and rewrite the first few pages just for that purpose while sacrificing the quality of the whole book.

“Is it worth it?” I often ask myself.

Before, I did not think so. But now I do. Not only do you need to have an interesting and compelling first 5 percent, you need to have an interesting 95% for the rest of the book as well. You cannot cut corners, really. But the first 5% counts, that much I can say.

Tags: books, reading, writing tips

‘Scuse Me! I’m an Author!

Hi everyone,

Once in a while, I got some interesting emails from WordPress: “Author So-and-So is now following your blog…” At first, my addle brain kicked in and I had to ask myself, “Jeez, who would name their kid ‘Author’? Arthur I would understand but Author, what?” Then, my actual functioning brain said, “No, you idiot, So-and-So is an author, get it?”

I shook my head and went on with my day but somehow on the inside, it irked me. Author So-and-So, really? Since when did people think it is ok to put their job titles in front of their names? Maybe I didn’t get the memo but neither Engineer Bob, Dentist Jorge, and Prima Donna Susan. Like really, why did someone think it’s ok to affix the title author in front of their names?

I just don’t get it. I am a published author and I just don’t. I have written more than 15 articles, all of which have been and are going to be published in major magazines in my country and I just. don’t. get. it. If I were to attach that title “Author” in front of my name, I would have to attach these ones, too: then, I would be known as Author-Daughter-Sister-Lover-Mother-Friend-Student-Teacher-Blogger-Writer-Tweeter-Facebooker-Lurker-Stalker-Builder-Planter-Horticulturer-Wine Drinker- Tea Drinker-Not Beer Drinker-Ect. ect. more-er- Dao Lam.

Nope, I definitely don’t want that. And who would want that, anyways? Being an author does not define you. It is a part of your life, a title, a fraction of the functioning world that you do. It is not 100% you. If I were to use the title “Author” as something to define me and me only, I would deny the other parts of my life that people about know me: my parents know me as their daughter, my brother as his sister, my lovers (one at a time) as theirs, my cat and dogs as their mommy, my teachers as their student, my students as their teacher, etc etc and the list goes on.

Also, if that argument hasn’t convinced you, just listen to this: do J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, William Shakespeare, T.S Elliott, and the like put the word “Author” in front of their names? I don’t think so! Yet, everybody knows who Stephen King is. And you have to live your whole life in a bush without reading any books and having no internet connection not to know who William Shakespeare is. Seriously, real authors do not need to put that word in front of their names. The world just knows.

And by the way, if everybody thinks it is fine to put the word “Author” in front of their names, we may have a serious problem. President Barack Obama would be known as President Two-Time Author Barack Obama. President Clinton? President Author (or maybe Author Former President) William Jefferson Clinton. President George W. Bush, I don’t know. He had a ghost writer. Maybe he would be known as Semi-Author Former President George W. Bush? You see the problem here? The system is going to be messed up!

So please, lower your ego and erase the word “Author” in front of your name. You’re an author and you’re proud of it. I get it, so do I. But that word doesn’t define me. Once in a while, I come to a point of denial where I tell myself that I am a lover, not a writer. I’d rather love, not write, and maybe because of love that I write. I don’t care what you call me as long as you call my name correctly. Author, not author, I’m still me.

Tags: author, writing

My Realization on Carbohydrates

Once upon a time, I did my research in carbohydrates. A lot of people asked me the validity of low-carb diet, thinking that I did such kind of research. Turned out, I had no clue what low-carb was all about as my research was in structural biochemistry and people were trying to figure out the roles of certain glycosaminoglycans in a couple of bacteria. I had a good time and carbohydrate biochemistry was relatively new back then. Now, people don’t even talk about proteinomics anymore and genomics is really old news.

Anyways, I digressed. This post has nothing to do with my research past. It is more about the good ole diet and the question of what to eat in order to stay slim. As my first round of P90X coming to an end, I’ve come to realize the reason I haven’t been losing a crazy amount of weight is my diet. Also, my pre-existing condition makes it harder to lose weight. You see, I am a diabetic and with this kind of condition, carb is screaming my name. On top of that, I am Asian, which means my staple diet is rice.

As much as I try to break free from rice, it hasn’t been easy. It’s the food that I have been eating since I started eating food, an ingrained habit that’s hard to break. I have been eating well lately and the weight has slowly coming off. But sometimes it is disheartening to work out so much only to lose about 2lbs in a month. Sometimes, it was even worse: 0.75lbs of weight loss in 2 weeks!

Lately, I’ve read “The Four-Hour Body” by Tim Ferriss, “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes, and a sleuth of fitness blogs. They all point out the same thing: the carb is evil. It is the thing that makes people fat. At first, it was hard to wrap my head around the idea. All my life, I’ve been told that we all need carb to live. We need to eat bread, rice, pasta, instant noodles, and all of those carb-packed food in order to maintain our own existence. However, as science points out, our bodies have about 6 mechanisms to convert carbohydrates into fat. Therefore, whatever piece of cake we eat would go directly to our thighs.

However, that’s not the worst -case scenario of fat storage. How about having fat stored in your organs? Not only it is not attractive but it is also deadly. In “The Four-Hour Body”, there was a scan of an obese person which clearly showed the organs encased in fat. That picture made me realize I need to cut down on my rice for my own good.

Since I know I have a tendency to go full-throttle for a week only to abandon it quickly, I decided to change my diet slowly. The slow carb diet described in “The Four-Hour Body” has beans and luckily, I like eating beans. Instead of doing the whole diet 3 meals a day, I only did breakfast. The first week was rough: ingesting a cup of black bean and 2 small eggs early in the morning was not easy. But down they went, with the help of oyster sauce, soy sauce, and sesame oil. That was three weeks ago. Since then, things have been easier. I find myself enjoying beans more and getting creative with my beans.

Although I was afraid that I might crash mid-morning, that was not the case. The beans hold my stomach tight and I feel more energetic in the morning, which is rare since I am not a morning person by any means. During the cheat days that I don’t eat beans, I feel the difference. The hunger pang would come earlier and I would feel more irritated. Then, this week I decided to eat 1/2 beans, 1/2 rice for dinner as I have a tendency to get hungry before going to bed. This solution is elegant enough to keep me hungry-free and I feel better in the morning as well.

Weight-wise, I lost 1lb after the first week. I haven’t been weighing myself since so I don’t know how far down I’ve gone. Upping my protein intake and lessening my refine carb intake has been working well for me. Exercising with high consistency is half the battle won. The other half is having a sound diet. I’m glad to be able to do the second half now. Had I started losing weight by eating less of everything, I would have given up by day 3.

Last but not least, don’t think of it as a diet. Think of it as a lifestyle change, something that you do to better yourself.

Tags: diet, four hour body, weight loss

The One Where I Talk About My Breakup Song List

Hi everyone,

I guess I am an outlier since I don’t listen to bitter breakup songs to heal my broken heart. I reserve them for writing since they are quite angry and sappy, which definitely do not help the mood. However, once in a while, for some unknown reasons, I would listen to them. Not for fun, of course, but to feel the pain within my heart, to remind me of how it was when my love was no longer there for me. Often, I would listen to them on a rainy day, which I think is the perfect setting for these heartbroken songs.

Anyways, here is my list. It’s not long and it’s not a fixed list, either. These songs are my favorites and they are the core of my list.

1. You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)

This seems like a standard protocol breakup song that girls play to cure their broken hearts. I don’t play them as often anymore but there was a time this came handy. All the raw emotions in the song and I still wonder who made Alanis so mad that she had to write such a song.

2. Cry Me a River (Justin Timberlake)

For the lack of better vocabulary, this is one bitchin’ song. Justin could hold such a grudge as we all know it was written for Britney. I still love it, though, mainly because it was written from a guy’s perspective. See, it’s not girls who are the ones who go loco after breakups. Guys do, too!

3. Toxic by Britney Spears

This is Britney’s counter attack to JT’s “Cry Me a River” and I have to say it’s quite good. Also, it was back when Britney was hot and that see-through diamante body suite was something to see. I like to play the two songs back to back and I think they are meant to be listened that way.

4. Rolling in the Deep by Adele

Although this song is relatively new, I love it very much and I can’t have enough of it. The emotion is so raw in the song and every time I listen to it, I find strength in my heart to pull through. It’s the epitome of anger turning into strength and I love to play it when I exercise.

5. Somebody that I Used to Know by Gotye

This is a new song that I just got into quite recently. I didn’t like it at first but after listening to a few renditions on YouTube, I love Walk off the Earth’s version. This song describes the reality of a post-relationship revelation: that you don’t really know the person you fell in love with that well. Or at all. Often times, this thought makes me sad but that’s how life is. I’m glad Gotye wrote a song about it.

How about you? Do you have any post-breakup songs to add to the list? I’d love to listen to them

Tags: music, post-breakup songs

Fifty Shades of Bad Erotic Noveling

Hi everybody,

Lately, everywhere I turned I saw “Fifty Shades of Grey.” All they said was it is a great piece of work compared to Twilight. Believe it or not, curiosity got the best of me in 2009 and I ended up reading the whole Twilight saga despite being warned of how nonliterary it was. Did I learn my lesson of not reading books based on hypes? No, I did not.

I ended up reading the first book and like Twilight, I was sucked into the story. However, unlike Twilight, “Fifty Shades of Grey” contains lots and lots of sex. And it’s not even regular missionary style sex. It has, gasp, BDSM!

But don’t fret, yours truly did not cower under the blanket at all. After watching 4 seasons of True Blood, sex doesn’t get so scary anymore. And if you know how Eric does it, Christian Grey sounds like a piece of cake to me. His Room of Pain is nothing compared to Eric’s basement, I reckon.

With that said, sex does sell. The whole thing started from an e-book and it has grown so big that people are making a movie out of it. The writing is not as bad as Twilight, which to me is the banality of modern literature. The first book is the most well-written of the bunch. Then came Fifty Shades Darker, which felt more like a filler to me. I thought it was bad before I read Fifty Shades Freed, which is the worst. It read like a glorious first draft to me with so many misplaced commas and “you’re” instead of “your”.

Character-wise, I did not feel the love for either of the main characters. Christian Grey is 27 goes 45 and kinky while Anastasia Steele is 22 and a virgin (<- this is important for character development, yo!) While reading the whole trilogy, I could not help but see Cillian Murphy as Grey, albeit the different eye colors and all. However, as the story went, I imagined Alexander Skarsgard (yes, Eric from True Blood) as a better Mr. Grey because he played the character psychotic frat boy vampire who liked to tie people up for sex so well in True Blood. And Christian Grey is exactly that, well, except for the vampire part. People have been nominating Ryan Gosling for the Grey role but I honestly don’t see the psychotic frat boy part in him. Gosling is too nice for that.

As far as who I would like to play Anastasia Steele, I would like a mash-up of Elizabeth Olsen and Ellen Page, Ms. Olsen for her innocent look and Ms. Page for her smart mouth. Yup, that pretty much sums up who Anastasia Steele is, although she does become better by book 3.

The one thing that bothered me the most about the trilogy was not the sex. I kinda got used to it somewhere around the first 50 pages of book 1. It was the age difference that bothered me. Mr. Grey was only 5 years older than Ms. Steele and ok, maybe she was a virgin and all but come on, can the author cut the girl some slack? It was frustrating to me when I read it. I could accept that she behaved that way if Christian Grey was in his 40s or something. But he was in his 20s and only 5 years older than she was, which means he is practically her peer. To me, that was the point that I could not wrap my head around and as a result, the characters sound like a fantasy to me.

In conclusion, if you read and love Twilight and have a tattoo of Edward somewhere around your body, by all means read the whole Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I’m not gonna stop you, nope! If you’re bored and want some steamy hot sex with a touch of bondage reading time, please read the first book with caution. The whole series is reserved for the suckers like me, whose curiosity got the better of them. Really, it is so not worth it. I’m not gonna tell you where but I’ve seen some better literotica floating around on the internet. Just sayin’!

Tags: book review, fifty shades of grey

No More Girly Push Ups for Me!

Hi everyone,

Remember this post when I told you that I could do push ups? Well, that was in February and this is the end of April. Three months almost go by and yet I’m still talking about it. Wanna know why?

It’s quite simple, really. In February, March, and pretty much the first half of April, I was doing push ups, alright, but they were on my knees. Yeah, the girly push ups people invented so women could do them, too. The only thing about knee push ups is they don’t work your whole body the way real push ups do. Also, for those who have knee problems like myself, it makes your knees sore if you do a little bit more push ups than you should.

But I had to live with what I could do while working on something else: planks. I can hold a 5-minute plank now and a 10-minute session of multiple sets of planks are getting even easier to me. I don’t actually remember who or what coerced me into planking like a mad woman but I love every minute of it. Plank is what makes your core stronger and tighter. You can do crunches until the cows come home but it won’t strengthen your core the way planks do. Also, it builds up your upper body strength, which is something I need to do my push ups properly.

While I was happy doing planks, I did not realize my push ups have improved. P90X is wonderful and I have to say they have the best upper body workouts ever! I did the Chest, Shoulders, and Triceps DVD while cursing Tony Horton out loud. That DVD contains all the push ups I could never imagine myself doing and more. The first time I did it I was so miserable. But then, the second and third time around was charming, I could do them all, albeit being on my knees.

Then, yesterday while I was doing yoga, I came to realize that I could finally do the perfect push ups. My arms did not flare out anymore and my chest hit the deck first, instead of my stomach. Also, my upward-facing dog pose was actually proper with my knees off the floor instead of me moonlighting the cobra pose and calling them upward-facing dog for ages. I felt so proud, as if I finally graduated to the big league already. All that could happen because I do planks, not because I have done a ton of push ups or anything else.

Next week, I am starting phase 3 of P90X, which means this round is closing to an end. I feel proud of myself and if I can do it, you can, too. P90X is not as difficult as people make it out to be. And if you are reading this because you want to try P90X, please do not let all those pull ups scare you. I haven’t done a single pull up since I am not allowed to drill the pull-up bar into the wall. But other than that, the modified version with the band works as well.

So yeah, I can do real push ups with ease and I can plank my heart out.  I have about 30 days left on P90X and I feel fantastic. If you want to work on your fitness then you should not wait. Go ahead and do it, you’ll be surprised of how far it is going to take you.

Tags: exercise, fitness, P90X, planks, push ups

Book no. 2, a Pain in the You-Know-Where

Hi everyone,

Book #1 was a big blessing to me. Not only that it proved to me I can finish a novel, it was a gift that presented itself to me. I didn’t do any pre-writing exercises at all (huh? Pre-writing? What pre-writing!) The fact that I wrote about 143,000 words and actually had a somewhat coherent story amazes me. However, book #2 has been a pain in the arse since it presented itself to me.

You see, back in 2010, I had this idea of putting all of my grad school woes into a novel and did it in a way that people who actually knew what I went through would not think the main character was me at all. Then, NaNoWriMo came along and I actually wrote about 30,000 words of it. And came to realize that I hated everything: the main character became a brat, the dramatic climaxes fell flat, and the story line was unconvincing to me. So, I put it aside and moved on with my life (which, btw, actually happened since I moved back home.)

But somehow, the core idea of the story was in my head and it clung into me for dear life. Every time I wanted to continue writing that story, I wrote about a chapter but then, the flatness set in and I gave up. Again and again and again until Scrivener came out as a paid software. At that time, I was writing book #3 already but the curse of book #2 continued and rendered book #3 unfinished.

I was beyond frustrated! I mean, I have a good idea here but how in the world can I not execute it? Come on, why did book #1 had to be such an easy-peasy trip to the park?

And then two days ago I had to cook dinner. I don’t know if it was the heat in the kitchen or the magic of sauteed onions or what but all of the sudden, it became crystal clear to me of what book #2 should be. The core idea is the same but the characters are different. I even have a new MC now with a much much more terrible and haunted background. The time I finished cooking dinner, the novel was completed in my head. It was like wow to me: so much more drama, so dark, so noir. It’s like grad-school Wuthering Heights or something.

Since I like this new version of book #2 so much, I am going to invest some time in pre-writing, ie planning, plotting, and scheming until I have most of the stuff mapped out before I write. This is going to be awesome, yo! And believe me, you don’t have to write out all of your ideas. The best would stick and manifest themselves into the best you can imagine. And all you have to do is giving it some time.

Tags: writing